I have no idea how I became the person this meme is about. I am also dying to hear about how Christmas lights are all slightly the wrong colour.

“Trump signs executive order that Cuomo actually won and that Dick Cheney is still alive.”

Anecdotally, it seems kids favour neighbourhoods with smaller (or at least narrower) lots and flat ground for candymaxxing.

You

Me

As if she went into this blind. Conservatives know what kind of people conservatives are; they just try to tell us it is something else that is not deranged.

“One hotdog, please!”

“Fill out these forms where I put the fun stickers and get a witness to sign.”

“What if I don’t want this much commitment for a hotdog?”

“Jail >:-(“

Me

I like em dashes. The robots can pry them from my cold, dead hands.

It was an attempt to be funny because they went out of their way to say “period” but then used an exclamation mark instead. Oh well.

Can’t help but notice you used exclamation marks instead of periods. Sincerely, the pedantic community.

My eyes are bleeding

Morrissey: “please, please tell me why, a vampire bit me in the eye”.

Or just get a MMR shot because it’s free.

There really is a XKCD for everything.

Spill a little water on it and it goes all wicked witch of the west.

The word ok expecting me to spell it out instead of pronouncing it like oak.

I assumed it’s a troll account, but she appears to be real. And from BC. And such a stereotypical representation of BC, I’m back to questioning whether or not it’s a troll account.

I thought I was terminally online but this is the moment I am hearing about smart beds. I guess the appeal is that it beams ads directly into your dreams?