Is this a job listing to become Sam Porter Bridges?

Mmmm pee…

YEAH TOAST

You would have to come to my house to see a horrifying(but impressive and… Expensive) number of plugs

Clearly not the point here.

Sorry for living in the US I guess? At my job I would get fired after 3 days without a doctor’s note.

You guys get ads?

They didn’t know she was pregnant until they did the test. Just thought she got fat

Guys can also wear bikinis and shove poke balls up their ass. It’s where I would store mine.

HEAVEN OR HELL

power metal and folk metal are kinda similar demographics-wise in my experience as an alestorm fan

Fish fuck in it

I was just reading metamorphosis, this isn’t even the same artstyle

I’m an unclean bottom who loves being fed- bring on the shrimp.

This is how I’ve gotten away with it for years

Ok.

Soda!

My decimeters be decimating

I only break out the sir/madam/etc for customers, and you bet if I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t try to guess. It’ll be you until I’m told different.

Brings a whole new meaning to you are what you eat.