You know how much we’ve wanted one of those

Misery.

Wait, hang on, sorry, I spelled that wrong. Missouri.

ChatGPT land this plane with the engine failed for me

How bad is this on a scale of 1 to 100?

95 out of 100 This is catastrophic. Here’s why it’s a 95:

Landing Impact (40 points):

• Belly flopped onto a chicken farm
• Left wing occupied as a nesting box

Passenger Experience (35 points):

• Emergency slide covered in yolk
• Free eggs for all

…----

He wasn’t supposed to be in the room. There was a scan in progress when he entered.

Seems to me all they needed was a magnet of equal or greater strength placed opposite of, and perhaps a bit closer to the doorway, to pull intruders away from the MRI room.

Great, well, in that case, we can call it and give everyone some time back. Thanks all.

But unprotected bees in their knees is the cat’s pajamas.

If you’ll notice the arterial nature of the blood coming from the hole in my head, you can assume that we’re all having a real lousy day.

Golden Girls and a cheesecake

That’s a good one. Mine is the Wilhelm scream, damn near startles the life out of me sometimes.

Raw, wriggling, and covered in ranch!

Techno cat version is great

It ain’t potato salad without raisins! Could go for some cheesy pea salad too

"Omggg I can’t believe they make you work on Easter! That’s awful…

… anyyyywayyyys, I’ll get a double gecko burger, and uhhhh, a side of quail eggs and a large diet Dr. Weasel… thanks!"

How I imagine it:

“I’m size 3”

“No you’re not”

“Yes I am”

“You can’t be”

“BRING THE DEVICE”

And when they say no, I laugh at them!

Needs more micro greens. Handfuls and heaps of micro greens and micro carrots